Life Changing.

Back in 2008, just a few months after losing our home in the flood, I was unable to sleep and was up on the computer just perusing through different online sites. I am a huge (!) fan of Mars Hill Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan and was going on their site to upload the newest podcasts and to browse their site. I came across the retreats tab and became instantly curious in what I was reading. Because I was in youth ministry at the time, it was really difficult for me to openly discuss my 'junk' with anyone from my church (especially in an intimate, retreat setting) for fear that the woman would want me thrown out of my position or would seriously doubt my ability to lead her teen. I was desperately looking for a place that was safe and out of reach from anyone I knew, so I decided to email the contact person for the retreats to inquire on whether or not the retreats were even open to anyone outside of the Mars Hill community. Michelle emailed and told me that they had just opened up their retreats to women outside of their community and she forwarded the information to me regarding them. I was THRILLED. I spoke with my Husband who interrupted me to say, "yes" and to give his full blessing!

The timing of this retreat couldn't have been any more perfect. The way God orchestrated the people who would lead, the fact that I had just lost nearly everything in a devastating flood, was still lamenting the loss of my familial relationships, and trying to figure out who I really was in the midst of my life was proof that He still loved me passionately, loved me deeply, and was interested in me. I have said that the retreat was life-changing and this is no lie. I was able to be heard (I mean really heard) for the first time in my life by people who didn't know me from Adam. I was able to re-tell my story and start from the beginning. I shared stories of shame, pain, and deep regret. I shared without fear of being judged because these women, too, shared their stories of deep pain. God knew what He was doing in this. He knew that this would jump start something in me---a yearning to be free from shame, fear, and guilt--and would save my life with amazing women to share life with, leaders who spoke (and I mean REALLY spoke into my life), who raised my hands like Aaron and Hur raised the hands of a weary Moses, who shook the dirt and grime off of my body and raised me up to walk again, and who proved to me that God's glory reflects and it reflects off of ME. I will never be the same person because of the work God did in me that weekend. I am forever grateful for the amazing group of women God brought to me (and to later find out how it happened boggles my mind!). The bonds that were made with Jami, Kathryn, Lisa, Michelle, and Sue will never be broken and for that I am eternally grateful.

Sometimes we need a safe place to release our junk---sometimes we spend too much time worrying about everyone else instead of tending to our own souls---and sometimes we're so broken down and battered that we don't even know where to begin. Consider finding a place to rest your weary soul. And let me know how I can help!